The Legacy
When I die, give what is left of me to children.
If you need to cry, cry for your brothers walking beside you.
Put your arms around anyone and give them what you need to give me.
I want to leave you with something, something better than words or sounds.
Look for me in the people I have known and loved.
And if you cannot live without me, then let me live on in your eyes, your mind, and your acts of kindness
You can love me most by letting hands touch hands and letting go of children that need to be free.
Love does not die, people do.
So when all that is left of me is love...
Give me away...
-John Wayne Schlatter's mother
I found this in A second helping of Chicken Soup for the Soul, death and dying section
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
.no use in waiting.
I've recently been reminded repeatedly that I am in the prime stages of grief and that when I am older and wiser God will use my dad's death as a powerful testimony. How beautiful I will be, how gloriously God shalt shineth through me! Hallelujah!!
And that's true, the Lord will use my story one day to bring glory upon himself. People will see Him through my story. Through our circumstances and our choices he works. And I expect that I will be a completely different person in 10 and 20 and 30 years from now. I will be more like Jesus, thank you God.
But as for now, I am beautiful. And God can be glorified now.
We live in a culture of planning and preparation for the next stage. Every stage is planning for the next stage. Middle school is directed toward high school. We learn to study for college in high school. College is preparing for our future careers. The story of Mary and Martha in the gospels caught my attention this weekend. In Luke chapter 10 Jesus was welcomed into their home and had started teaching. We know Martha is working and trying to be hospitable for her guests and her sister Mary isn't helping her. Instead she's listening to Jesus. Martha says, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me" And Jesus answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha. You are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her. (Luke 10:40-42, NKJV)
One thing is needed.
When I read that I think about my future plans. "Lord! What am I going to do next semester! How will I ever do this in time? How can I pay for this?" I have been so burdened about my future that I seek that and look at that. My mind thinks about that. When I am in quiet time I ask God about it. I journal about it. I don't sit at the feet of Jesus. I don't ask him to take my burdens, but I ask him to tell me the answers.
But Jesus brings me gently to my knees and says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matt 11:28-30 NIV).
God, I want rest for my soul. When Jesus gives me rest, I can think about Him. And He is here now. He's not my future, He's my now and He'll always be my now. The future is just a thought, but He is reality. And when I am at rest at His feet, I am simply here. Not worrying about tomorrow. And I know that I'd rather be here now: beautiful, complete, glorifying Jesus, than to be hoping to one day be beautiful, to one day be worthy of bringing my mighty King glory. Because when Jesus said "It is finished." (John 19:30b NKJV) He was talking about my salvation 2,000 before I was born. Being complete in Him means when I ask Him into my heart He is fully there, now.
A friend told me that we shouldn't compare ourselves to anyone but Jesus if our goal is to be like Him. And so I expect that I should be more beautiful every day as I sit at His feet. And if He says I'm beautiful and complete, time is no matter in that.
And that's true, the Lord will use my story one day to bring glory upon himself. People will see Him through my story. Through our circumstances and our choices he works. And I expect that I will be a completely different person in 10 and 20 and 30 years from now. I will be more like Jesus, thank you God.
But as for now, I am beautiful. And God can be glorified now.
We live in a culture of planning and preparation for the next stage. Every stage is planning for the next stage. Middle school is directed toward high school. We learn to study for college in high school. College is preparing for our future careers. The story of Mary and Martha in the gospels caught my attention this weekend. In Luke chapter 10 Jesus was welcomed into their home and had started teaching. We know Martha is working and trying to be hospitable for her guests and her sister Mary isn't helping her. Instead she's listening to Jesus. Martha says, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me" And Jesus answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha. You are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her. (Luke 10:40-42, NKJV)
One thing is needed.
When I read that I think about my future plans. "Lord! What am I going to do next semester! How will I ever do this in time? How can I pay for this?" I have been so burdened about my future that I seek that and look at that. My mind thinks about that. When I am in quiet time I ask God about it. I journal about it. I don't sit at the feet of Jesus. I don't ask him to take my burdens, but I ask him to tell me the answers.
But Jesus brings me gently to my knees and says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matt 11:28-30 NIV).
God, I want rest for my soul. When Jesus gives me rest, I can think about Him. And He is here now. He's not my future, He's my now and He'll always be my now. The future is just a thought, but He is reality. And when I am at rest at His feet, I am simply here. Not worrying about tomorrow. And I know that I'd rather be here now: beautiful, complete, glorifying Jesus, than to be hoping to one day be beautiful, to one day be worthy of bringing my mighty King glory. Because when Jesus said "It is finished." (John 19:30b NKJV) He was talking about my salvation 2,000 before I was born. Being complete in Him means when I ask Him into my heart He is fully there, now.
A friend told me that we shouldn't compare ourselves to anyone but Jesus if our goal is to be like Him. And so I expect that I should be more beautiful every day as I sit at His feet. And if He says I'm beautiful and complete, time is no matter in that.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Less frequent, but still there
I came across some verses that explained my thoughts exactly the few months after my dad's death. I can't believe it's been 5 months. It still seems like yesterday. Do I still feel the way that these verses describe? Yes but less frequently
As a cloud vanishes and is gone, so one who goes down to the grave does not return.
He will never come to his house again; his place will know him no more.
Therefore I will not keep silent; I will speak out in the anguish of my soul.
Am I the sea, or the monster of the deep, that you put me under guard?
When I think my bed will comfort me and my couch will ease my complaint,
Even then you frighten me with dreams and terrify me with visions
So that I prefer strangling and death rather than this body of mine
I despise my life; I would not live forever. Leave me alone; my days have no meaning.
What is mankind that you make so much of them, that you give them so much attention.
That you examine them every morning and test them every moment?
Will you never look away from me, or let me alone even for an instant?
Job 7:9-19
As a cloud vanishes and is gone, so one who goes down to the grave does not return.
He will never come to his house again; his place will know him no more.
Therefore I will not keep silent; I will speak out in the anguish of my soul.
Am I the sea, or the monster of the deep, that you put me under guard?
When I think my bed will comfort me and my couch will ease my complaint,
Even then you frighten me with dreams and terrify me with visions
So that I prefer strangling and death rather than this body of mine
I despise my life; I would not live forever. Leave me alone; my days have no meaning.
What is mankind that you make so much of them, that you give them so much attention.
That you examine them every morning and test them every moment?
Will you never look away from me, or let me alone even for an instant?
Job 7:9-19
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