{.:---:.}

I've never realized how big a price we must pay in order to really be close to God. He will always be there, pursuing us, etc. But for me to know Him takes so much effort, and here's what I mean:

Knowing God is so incredibly simple. I need to abandon my own rights to my life.
         For example: when my boss makes me mad, I feel the need to ignore him or make a sarcastic    
         comment. When I'm hurting one day and I'm at work, I am compelled to rent people gear without
         looking them in the eyes or giving them any sense of love. When I am heavy burdened, I want
         to ignore people and tuck myself away in my house in front of the TV.

But I can't. Because when I do, I take a step closer to my carnal self. I walk closer to my selfish nature. The nature that is so delicious and exhilarating and ignorant. It is so easy, and not just easy but urgent and gripping. It's not just urgent and gripping, but so comforting. It's comforting because I guard my mind from anything that challenges my sin.

-I was rude to him because he made me stay late. He's always annoying anyways and he needs everything to be perfect. The carpets look fine.

No, I was rude because I was lazy and didn't want to vacuum. Vaccuuming is in my job description and I stayed late because I didn't do it earlier.

But who wouldn't agree with me? If I vented about my boss to anyone with those words, I would only get conforming responses, with some sympathy thrown in. Yeah, he's a terrible boss, I heard he's not even a good climber. Ahhh, now I feel better.


These occurances are so common in our lives that we don't even notice it. They are second nature to Christians and non-believers alike. But from my recent experiences with God, these are the tiny details of our lives that impact our relationship with God the most. Each time I choose to exercise my laziness, my rude thoughts, my ability to gossip, etc. I walk away from God a little more. But the thing is, I'm starting to notice this so much in my life that I can actually feel it. I can feel me removing myself from God. He is very much 'there' because he is faithful, but these are the choices that clog my spirit. These choices that clog my spirit don't allow me to feel God's Holy Spirit, which is very real.

From my experience, this is what happens next. We feel guilty. We miss God. We get together and talk about how we just wish God could be our life rather than just a part of our lives. We want to show the love of Christ to our friends and co-workers, but how?

Well here are some ideas I've come up with.
1. Let's take the plank out of our own eyes and choose to see ourselves the way God sees us. Redeemed, but in need of Him everyday. Our friends aren't the only ones in need of saving. Sancitfication needs its tender love and care.

2. Read the Bible. Not because "God will be mad if you don't have a quiet time". Because we desperately need it, seriously.

3. Pray. There are probably so many reasons Jesus may want us to pray, but somewhere within those words, our hearts change and God is pleased.

4. And the one that has caught my attention the most lately, ask God to teach you how to love Him. I don't know how to love God. I sure don't know how to love His sheep. Since those are the most important commandments, let's learn.


Knowing God is so simple. However, knowing God is so complicated for us because we have give up what we know so dearly. Hopefully I can start to challenge my sin through these gracious gifts God has given me: scripture and prayer. I want to start taking it more seriously and I know I will fail that (knowledge from previous experiences) but God is gracious and faithful and I bet that He will help.